Episode 8 - A Trippy Trip (part 2)

The episode begins in the hotel room. Bobby wakes up first and enters the bathroom. Around 20 minutes later, Greg begins pounding on the door.
G: Bobby, how long are you gonna stay?
B: Just a minute!
G: You're sitting there for 20 minutes! What are you, a Disney princess?
Paul wakes up due to Greg's yapping.
P: Just let him finish...
G: I would, if he weren't in the bathroom for 20 years!
T: But he's only took 20 minutes!
G: Quiet, Tito! Come on, out!
B: A handsome man must smell good!
Greg finally opens the door. He witnesses Bobby in the shower.
B: Could you...
G: You really shower in the morning?
B: CLOSE THE DOORS?!
Greg slams the door and begins to wander around the room. Bobby meanwhile begins to comb his hair, but there is a single strand that keeps sticking up. He tries a harder comb, styling foam, hair gel, nothing works. Finally he decides to cut that strand off, but he accidentally cuts almost all of his hair.
B: What the? Guys, I lost all my hair!
G: Quit your bullshit, get out now!
Bobby leaves the bathroom, pretty much without his hair.
P: Holy cow!
Tito wakes up.
T: Oh my God!
Tito looks at the bald Bobby and begins screaming.
T: A monster! I'll fight him off!
Tito starts attacking Bobby with a pillow.
B: Stop, idiot, it's just me!
T: A monster ate Bobby!
Paul pulls Tito from Bobby.
P: Alright Tito, time for breakfast.
T: Breakfast!
P: And Bobby, just put on... anything on your head. I don't have anything to help you with.
Paul and Tito head downstairs for breakfast. Bobby begins looking through his luggage, but he only finds a towel. He wraps it around his head. It doesn't look the best, but it's still something.
B: How do I look?
G: Like a clown. What, did you expect me to applaud you? Let's head down to eat.

The boys are in the hotel cafe.
G: So, Mr. Tour guide, where do you want to take us out?
P: You know, I'm not really sure about any place...
B: You've had the whole night to plan!
T: I want to eat a durex!
Everybody looks at Tito with disgust.
G: Why the hell would you want to eat a condom?
T: No, a durex!
Tito points at a dish "duros".
G: Wow, you really are a retarded dumbass.
P: Don't criticize, you also didn't know how to read!
G: Hmph, says a crybaby.
P: Who you calling a crybaby, huh?
B: Enough! We need to grab some food before we set off to town.
The same waiter from yesterday approaches the table.
W: Buenos días, chicos, ¿qué queréis pedir? (Good morning, guys, can I take your order?)
P: Sólo un poco de... tarta de lima para mí, sí... (Just some... key lime pie for me, yeah...)
T: ¡Un poco de Durex para mí! (Some Durex for me!)
P: Quiere un duros. (He wants a duros.)
B: ¿Ustedes son un buffet? (Are you guys, a buffet?)
W: No, señor, somos un restaurante. (No, sir, we are a restaurant.)
B: Estoy bastante seguro de que se refería a un buffet libre. (I'm pretty sure that he meant an all-you-can-eat buffet.)
W: ¡Ahora lo entiendo! Seguidme, chicos. (Oh, I get it now! Follow me, guys.)
The waiter leads Bobby and Greg to the buffet.
P: Errr... alone again...
T: Pauly!
P: What is it?
T: Lokk what I found behind a bed!
Tito pulls out a spider from his pocket.
P: Tito, give me the spider.
T: No! He's my friend!
P: Tito, we should let him outside.
T: You're not gonna lay a hand on Herb!
P: Herb>
T: Come on Herb, let's go!
Tito flees the restaurant with his friend.
P: God damn that manchild! Whatever, I'll just go grab some coffee.

There a lot of guests by the buffet. Greg is growing impatient.
G: Come on, now! ¡Vamos! (Move!)
B: Look, there's some free space!
Bobby and Greg make their way to the free spot, but a businessman walks in front of them.
Bu: Disculpen, niños. (Excuse me, kids.)
B: Oh, look! Another one.
Bobby and Greg are once again cut off by another guys.
Gu: Hehe, lo siento. (Hehe, sorry.)
Bobby and Greg wander around the entire buffet, in a sped up scene, the last time they are cut off by an obese German woman.
Ge: Bewegt euch, ihr Idioten! Ich bin am Verhungern! (Move away, you idiots! I'm starving!)
Greg is about to explode, but he is stopped in time by Bobby.
B: Let's go, we're gonna come back in a moment.
G: No, I'm hungry! A hungry Greg is an angry Greg!
B: Come on, Greg! We'll just grab something from behind the counter!
G: No, I'm staying here!
B: Fine, you stay there, and I'll just order something.
Bobby leaves. Greg changes his mind and follows him.
G: Wait, Bobby!

Paul is in a video call with Angie.
P: And then, Tito just left with his spider, and who knows where Bobby and Greg went! They left me alone...
A: And you still think they're your friends?
P: Why shouldn't I?
A: You're way too smart, to even hang out with them.
P: But Angie, they're my only friends! And, like brothers! Well, not at all!
A: Think about it, what did they ever help you with?
Bobby and Greg begin walking towards Paul's table with loads of food. Their plates are sticking into the air.
A: Who is that?
P: Bobby and Greg, I... can't see what they're carrying. I don't care, I'm still waiting for my lime pie.
Bobby almost trips over the table, dropping his food. It perfectly slides along the entire table in a straight line. Greg puts his food on the table.
B: Pauly, look at this!
P: Why the heck did you guys order so much?
G: I challenged Bobby, to eat as much food as we can!
A: Ooo, I wanna see!
P: You'll see, who are you rooting for?
A: Bobby's got the better chances.
B: Thanks, sweetheart.
A: Actually, I'm on Greg's side.
G: Thanks, Angie!
B: Oh- ok...
P: It's a shame, that Tito left early.
Meanwhile in the hotel room, Tito is playing with his pet spider.
T: Come on, Herb, have a cracker!
Tito throws a cracker for Herb, but accidentally crushes him with it.
T: Herbert, nooooo!

The boys are in town. Tito is still sad after accidentally killing his pet spider.
B: Heads up, Tito! We'll go to a Starbucks and find some hot ladies!
T: Ladies?!
G: No! No, no, no. I'm not gonna rest my foot in that libtard hatchery called Starbucks.
P: Quit complaining, you're gonna drink some Americano!
G: Yuck, America.
B: Come on, they have some nice girls!
G: Yuck, girls.
P: Come.
G: No!
P: Come!
G: NO!
P: Then stay outside!
G: I don't give a shit!
Paul, Tito and Bobby enter the Starbucks. There are lots of beautiful girls inside.
B: Guys, we're in heaven!
P: You're not gonna have a chance with one!
B: Wanna bet?
P: Yeah, bring it on!
Bobby sits down next to a random woman, sitting by herself.
B: Hey sugar, wanna grab a drink?
G1: Dude, I have a boyfriend.
B: Does it really matter? No girl can resist Bobby the big!
G1: Mark! Can you help me with this guy?
Mark walks out of the bathroom, he's a bodybuilder, measuring over 6'7".
M: Get out of here, punk. She's mine.
Meanwhile at the counter...
P: So, just three lattes please.
Barista: $10.50.
Paul gives the Barista the money.
Ba: Sir, you know that you're 50 cents short?
P: Snap... Tito, you got any cash?
T: Let me check!
Tito pulls out a half dollar coin from his belly button.
T: Here!
P: Yuck...
Paul gives the dirty coin to the barista.
B: Would you like to leave a tip?
P: No, thank you.
B: And your names for your coffees?
Tito cuts in and whispers the names to the barista.
P: Tito, what are you-
T: You'll see!

Meanwhile, Bobby is walking around the tables, hitting on random women. He gets rejected by each of them, but one time, a girl with a low voice talks to him.
G2: Hey, sugar.
Bobby immediately recognizes a transsexual, which he runs away from. Meanwhile, Greg is outside in full son. He's all sweaty, with no umbrellas in sight. Except for one, which has a rainbow material. Greg begins running towards it, and rips it out of the ground. He then breaks it in half and throws it in a dumpster, like a javelin. The angry crowd begins chasing Greg, who runs away laughing. The boys see the entire event from the cafe.
P: What an idiot...
T: Paul, our coffees are ready! Listen to the names!
Ba: Three coffees for DaMess, Farnackel, and uhhh... Nate Higgers?
Tito and several cafe guests erupt laughing. An angry Paul grabs Tito by his shirt.
P: What did you tell her?! What kind of names are these?!
DaMess, it sounds like dumbass! Farnackel is a fartknuckle, you get the drill! And Nate Higgers, it's just Hate Ni-
P: Grow up! Greg already embarassed us all!
B: Speaking of Greg, where is he?
Greg is still being chased by the liberals.
G: Guys, run!
The boys run from the angry crowd.
P: What did you do?
G: I destroyed a rainbow umbrella! No more faggotry on this world!
P: You asshole!

The boys hide in an alley on the side of the street. The angry crowd runs past it.
G: What a relief. We're out of trouble.
B: What makes you say that?
There is a shadowy figure in the corner of the alley, partially obscured by a container. A somewhat familiar man approaches them, who looks like a tour guide.
TG: Hey guys, are you lost?
P: Who are you?
TG: I'm, uhhh... Jackson! I'm gonna be your tour guide around Baja California!
T: We didn't order a tour guide!
TG: Come, I'll introduce you to my friends.
The tour guide leads the boys out, to a group of gangsters on the side of the road.
T: Guys, these guys look suspicious.
TG: These are my friends, Rafi, Dani, and Miki.
The gangsters keep a neutral, intimidating expression. The tour guide whispers something to Dani, who tells it to this friends.
Da: Ok, niños, come with us.
Dani guides the boys.
R: Miki, llevemos a estos cabrones al callejón sin salida. (Miki, let's lead the little shits to that alley.)
Mi: ¡Vamos a comernos sus entrañas! (We're gonna eat their guts!)
R: Escribano, distráelos con algo. (Escribano, make them busy with something.)
Da: Ok, listen up. We're gonna visit a burger shop for dinner.
T: But it's just 11 AM!
Da: Shut up, we're eating now.

Dani enters the restaurant and picks two tables - one for the boys, and the other for his gang.
P: That Jackson guy and his friends really are acting suspicious, don't you think?
B: Like gangsters!
G: I know, right? Let's keep an eye on them.
T: When are we gonna eat?
P: Let's not order anything, let's just listen to them.
The boys start listening the conversation.
R: And then, we'll hand them over to the Cobras.
Da: When we get there, we're all gonna skin the little twerps.
TG: But how are we gonna draw their attention?
Mi: Tell 'em that one of them said the n-word!
TG: Sounds like a plan.
P: You guys got anything? Cause I didn't, they got thick accents!
G: They said about some Cobras.
T: I, want, food! I, want, food!
Da: Come on, order something, damn it!
T: I'm not hungry!
R: Yes you are!
Tito and Rafi look at each other for a while.
T: Ok! I am hungry!

The boys leave the burger shop. The tour guide whispers to the gangsters.
TD: Ok, time for the big plan!
The tour guide lead the boys to the cul-de-sac, where the Cobras live. On the other side lives the enemy gang, Los Hermanos Amarillos.
TD: Ok, we're here.
P: So, you wanna tell us something?
TD: What?
B: We've overheard your conversation!
TD: What conversation, what in the fu-
T: You took us out there, to get killed by the Cobras!
TD: You're real smart, Tito, real smart.
T: How do you know my name?
TD: In fact, I'm not really your tour guide.
The tour guide brushes his hair and takes his disguise off. As expected, it was the Creator.
C: Surprise, bitches!
P: Wow, so original... I would've never expected that...
C: That's not all... Hey, Cobras! This kid just said the n-word!
Many African-American Cobra members storm out of the house. One of them grabs Paul by his collar.
Ga1: Who you calling a nigga, huh?
The Creator, Dani and Rafi managed to escape. Miki tripped, trying to escape.
Ga2: Hey, there's that mofo Graciani!
Ga3: Kill him!
The Cobras flood Miki with bullets. He gets struck three times in the chest and dies shortly after. From the other side of the road, the LHA gang begins shooting at the Cobras, to avenge Miki.
HA1: ¡Están acabados, imbéciles! (You're done, fuckers!)
The latinos shoot at the African-Americans, and they shoot back. The cul-de-sac is under fire, from both sides.
G: Guys, let's get the fuck out of here!
As the boys run out the cul-de-sac, a stray bullet hits Bobby in his right forearm. Injured, he falls to the ground.
P: Move, come on!
Suddenly, Diego arrives by the cul-de-sac.
D: ¡Niños! Get in!
P: Diego, what are you doing here?
D: I went for a holiday to visit Carlita!
G: Quit your bullshit, step on it! Drive us to that hotel!
Bobby's hand is bleeding profusely.
T: We need to tie something over his arm!
P: Hand above the heart, remember! Above the heart!
The boys tie Bobby's shirt around his forearm. In the hotel room... Bobby is sitting on the bed with his arm bandaged.
B: Guys, I don't feel safe here.
G: Come on, what about your ladies?
B: I just want to go home, I really do.
P: We went here for a week, and you want to go home the second day?
T: I don't want to be here, too!
G: Honestly? Me neither.
P: Fine, we'll just look for a last minute flight. Pack your stuff, guys.
B: I'm still gonna miss BC...
Paul calls the airport, as he steps outside. A few moments later he returns.
P: Ok, if we hurry up, we're gonna board the plane at 3!
G: Then let's go, hurry, hurry!
The boys pack their stuff in a rush, and run to the airport. They make their way through the CT and board the plane at 2:58.

P: Just in time!
G: Fucking hell, there's no free seats left!
B: There's some in the back!
Bobby tries to point at the seats, but he can't lift his arm. Tito points at the seats himself.
T: I wonder, where do these doors lead?
B: Tito, no!
Paul and Greg grab Tito and tie him to his seat.
G: We are not going to crash, not on my watch!
A message from the pilot sounds.
Pi: Attention, travellers! We are having an engine fire! We are going to have to do an emergency stop in Santa Santana!

The passengers begin to panic, they are screaming, praying, hiding under the seats.
Pi: Brace for impact!
The plane begins to shake, before hitting the ground. It breaks horizontally, the front of the plane gets propelled into the air, and the rear begins sliding on the runway. The boys are holding on tight, but Bobby's seat gets ripped out and gets blown out. Bobby grabs the seat behind him, Paul helps him. The front of the plane hits a hangar and explodes, while the tail is coming right at a starting plane.
G: Oh shit!
P: We're coming at him!
B: We're gonna die!
T: Haha, and I'm tied to my seat!
The other plane takes off just in time, and the tail stops in the middle of the runway.
T: We're home!
P: Guys, are you ok?
B: My head...
G: I'm still alive...
Paul, Bobby and Greg leave the wreck and go home.
T: Guys, what about me?
Greg turns around and unties Tito.
T: Thanks!

The boys return to the apartment, earlier than they should. Madison is surprised to see them home so quick.
M: You've returned quite fast.
A: Maddie, quick! Come see what's on the news!
Madison and the boys dash to the living room. They can see the burning wreck of the plane.
T: We've flied in this plane!
M: Oh my God, Diego was on board that plane!
P: You know Diego?
M: Yeah, he's my friend!
P: Don't worry, he's fine. I saw him in the back.
G: The back wasn't damaged, we were there.
M: It's a miracle, that he survived!
B: I almost fell out of that plane! And they almost killed me in Mexico!
G: We're never going back there.
P: Don't worry, we're flying to Puerto Rico next time!
The rest of the boys begin screaming at Paul. The episode ends with an iris out on the arguing boys.

End of episode 8.


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