Episode 2 - Boys for hire

The episode begins with Paul and Angie, still sleeping. Paul is exhausted after his experiences in a new place. After a brief moment, he stretches and heads to the kitchen for breakfast. Meanwhile in the living room... Bobby is lying on the ground with a big red mark - he was slapped by Greg last night. Tito is sound asleep, and Greg is in the bathroom. Madison enters the living room.
M: Alright boys, we need to talk.
Paul and Greg make their way to the living room, and they settle down on the couch. Greg nudges Bobby with his foot, trying to wake him up.
G: Come on, get up already!
Bobby mutters and gets up.
M: Listen up, we need to discuss your rent plan, guys. My rate is $1250 a month.
The boy look at each other with disbelief, 1250 dollars is a huge sum.
P: 1250?
M: Yeah, about 312.25 per person.
G: I'm paying for myself.
B: I don't even have a single penny!
T: I'm a certified handicap!
M: Very well, I suggest you should get a job, if you want to stay here.
The boys brainstorm their ideas.
P: Guys, I know!
G: Yeah, whatcha got?
P: We should look for offers?
B: Where exactly, do you say?
P: I found some offers in the newspaper, we're definitely going to find something for all of us. First up... a mechanic?
G: Hell no, I don't want to stain my new suit. Why shouldn't people fix their own cars, instead of giving them to some dirty villager, so he can take 250 for just an oil change?
T: But Greg, we all come from a village!
G: We're all villagers, ok? We all come from a rundown, village full of shit!
P: Come on, we're gonna find any job out there...

Meanwhile at the Creator's, who is walking around the street with a toy gun...
C: Oh, I'm so gonna track your asses down. You'll give in to me, your master, hahaha! And then, I'll just stuff you back in my head, hahaha!
Creator gets a long coughing fit, and hides in the dumpster - as he sees the boys walking nearby.
T: Guys, we're gonna go work for the mechanic!
C: Work? Perfect! I'm gonna sabotage their job!
Creator runs back to his apartment, to change his clothes. Rummaging through the closet, he finds a vomit-stained tank top, and ripped jean shorts - his daily attire.
C: God damn it, I can't just set off to town like this, I'll be looking like a bum!
Somebody laughs off camera, possibly one of the producers.
C: Who just laughed at me?

The boys are in town, looking for the workshop. They struggle to navigate well through Santa Santana, they just arrived a few days earlier.
T: Guys, where are we going?
P: Hold on, Tito. I have a GPS, it will lead us to the guy.
G: GPS? What is that Chinese spying software?
P: GPS is American, idiot.
T: Yeah, American?!
G: I'm gonna kick your ass, if you don't take your words back.
B: Guys, I see the mechanic!
Bobby points at a small workshop, just at the outskirts of the town. Even though it looks like it's abandoned, there's still a bunch of workers.

The boss is smoking a cigarette outside, right before he notices the boys.
Bo: Hello, boys!
P: Hi, we're looking for a job!
T: We saw your offer in a newspaper!
G: Who even reads newspapers these days...
Bo: Alright, youngsters. I'll see what I can let you do... I'm gonna need you to get me some tools from the warehouse. First one from the left, my friend Mike will show you. Now go, and have fun!
The boys enter the warehouse, which isn't looking much better from the inside. It's windows are dirty, and the shelves are looking very weak.

Mi: G'day mates, you must be new here.
B: Yeah, we just got this job. Your boss said about looking for some tools.
Mi: No dramas, I'll help you. Look for them boxes on the left and middle shelves.
P: I got one...
A wasp starts flying right in front of Tito's face. He gets scared, and starts flailing his arms in terror. The insect only gets angrier and starts chasing him around the enite warehouse. He bumps into a shelf, which starts to shake.
G: Tito, what the fu-
T: A wasp is chasing me, it's chasing me!
The shaking eventually stops, and the boys phew in relief. However, the wasp lands on Tito's left wrist.
W: Hello, motherfucker!
The wasp shows Tito two middle fingers, and begins to sting him multiple times. Tito jumps around in pain, and he bumps into more shelves. This time however, they end up collapsing. In a few seconds, the entire warehouse floods with nuts, bolts and other metal parts. Cleaning up this mess will take at least a few weeks.
M: Crikey, looks like you're in trouble.
The boss runs upstairs.
Bo: Ok, what is happening in here?
G: Tito just ran into a shelf.
T: I was being chased a by a wasp!
Bo: Enough! All four of you, get out! I don't want to ever see you again.
P: Darn.
G: Why all of us? It was Tito, who did it!
The boss picks up a pipe from the ground and chases the boys outside.
Bo: Out, out!

The boys are all angry at Tito.
B: Dumbass, it was all your fault!
T: You don't get it, a wasp was chasing me! It stung me in the arm!
G: I'll fucking rip that arm of yours off, I promise. All right, Pauly, what's our next target?
P: Next up, we've got a beauty salon.
G: A beauty salon? No way, that's such a gay job!
B: Yay, maybe I'll finally get laid!
The Creator is watching the boys from the other side of the street.
C: A beauty salon, you say? I think I got an idea...

The boys stop by a beauty salon, that belongs to a friend of Madison, Josie. Madison often visits her salon.
J: Hi there! What good-looking guys am I seeing?
Bobby immediately begins to melt, as if he fell in love - just like him.
T: Uh-oh, we're losing Bobby!
P: Yeah, we're looking for a job.
J: All four of you?
G: Don't count me in, I'm not going to work here.
P: Don't listen to him, all four mean all four.
J: Alright, come on in. We've got a busy day ahead.
The boys follow Josie into the saloon, which is empty at the moment.

A few moments later, a somewhat familiar looking woman enters the saloon.
Wo: Hiii, what's up sugar? Oh, I need a barber, real quick! Come on!
J: Lucky for you, we've just got some new workers. They'll take care of you.
Wo: Really? How nice!
The customer sits down in the chair, with an evil grin.
P: You may now relax, before we start our little session.
T: We'll make you a real beauty!
P: Let's start off with a nice haircut.
Paul puts on a barber cape on the customer, and begins trimming her hair. The customer begins to move her head, to make it harder for Paul to trim her hair.
P: Ma'am, if you could not move your head, we're gonna finish faster.
Wo: I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous.

The woman chuckles under her breath, and tries to trip Paul over. He falls over, and slices her forehead.
Wo: AHHH, IT FUCKING HURTS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
P: I'm so sorry, I just tripped! I'm going to get some antiseptic real quick!
Paul passes by Tito, who is carrying a bottle.
P: Tito, could you take care of this lady's wound?
T: Sure thing, Pauly!
Just before Tito pours the substance on the customer's head, Paul sees the "Drain Cleaner" label on the bottle. He couldn't stop Tito in time, and he spilled a lot of it on her head.
Wo: AHHH, IT'S BURNING MORE!
P: What the hell, Tito?! That's not antiseptic, do you realize what you've just poured on her head?
T: It's drain cleaner, it's very corrosive!
P: You can't use it on people, give me that!
T: No, I'll put it back!
Paul and Tito begin fighting over the drain cleaner bottle, spilling more of it on the woman. She doesn't have the strength to scream anymore, and just falls off the chair and curls into a ball.

Meanwhile, Bobby is talking with Josie at the reception.
B: You know, Josie, I kind of like you now. Your hobbies, they kind of match mine. What do you think about sometimes meeting up after work?
J: Of course, I don't see a prob-
The conversation is interrupted by Paul and Tito fighting over the drain cleaner bottle. A terribly burnt Creator, with his clothes and hair burnt off, runs away in shame - covering his face.
J: You men, you are all the same. I knew I shouldn't have trusted you. Get out of here, and don't come back.
Tito, Paul and Greg leave the saloon.
B: Can I stay?
P: Come on, Bobby. Let's go.
Paul grabs Bobby by the arm and leads him out of the saloon. He waves goodbye to Josie, who just ignores him.

The boys are mad at each other, none of them want to exchange a word.
G: Sooo... I see that you've finished early?
P: The heck do you know, about what happened? You were standing outside for the whole time.
G: I never wanted to work there! Alright, what's our next target?
B: Do we even want to look for a job?
P: Bobby, did I ask you for your opinion?
Bobby cusses Paul out under his breath.
P: The next target, it's a Chinese restaurant.
From about 50 feet away, oriental music begins to sound through the street. Master Xiao, the chef is waving at customers.
X: Come on in, come on in to Chinese restaurant! We have sale!
P: Hi, we're looking-
T: We're looking for a job!
P: Don't cut in my words!
X: Ohh, you want job? Of course, I will find job for you! I have few positions! You, red and black, you go to kitchen. Green and blue, you go to cash. You two, I will give you spatulas and you will flip chicken. My brother Feng will teach you. You two, come with me, I will teach you cash register.

Paul and Bobby enter the kitchen, they're greeted by Feng, Xiao's brother.
F: 孩子們好！讓我教你如何做飯。(Hey kids, I will teach you how to cook!)
P: Do you understand him?
B: Nah.
F: 抱歉，什麼？(I'm sorry, what?)
P: Do you speak English?
Feng shakes his head.
P: Sprechen Sie Deutsch?
Feng shakes his head again.
P: Parles-tu français?
Feng shakes his head once again.
P: ¿Hablas español?
Feng shakes his head a fourth time.
P: Bobby, do you know any other languages?
B: I know some Russian. Ты говоришь на русском языке?
F: Аааа, да! Я говорю по-русски. Я был в России несколько раз. (Ohhh, yes! I do speak Russian. I've been to Russia several times now.)
B: Мой двоюродный брат, он живет в России! (My cousin, he lives in Russia.)
F: А друг, не говорит по-русски? (What about your friend, does he not speak Russian?)
P: Uh, no. No goworit in Russian, I only goworit in English and German.
F: Ок, я покажу вам, кухню. (Ok, let me show you the kitchen.)
Feng shows the boys their new workplace.
F: Вот холодильник. В холодильнике лежат ингредиенты. А еще дровяная печь и казан. Здесь вы готовите еду. Рецепты можно посмотреть в книге рецептов. Понял? (Here is the fridge. In the fridge, you have the ingredients. And here is a wooden stove and wok. We cook all our food here. You can check the cookbooks for recipes. Understood?)

B: Да, мы понимаем. (Yes, we understand.)
F: Тогда работайте! Я еду в Сяо. (Then work! I'm going to Xiao.)
Feng leaves the kitchen, leaving the boys alone.

After Greg and Tito serve some customers, a non-binary customer walks up to the counter, a type of person that Greg hates the most.
G: Can I take your order, ma'am?
N: Ma'am? Did you just call me a ma'am?
G: Yeah, what's wrong with that?
N: I am non-binary. My pronouns are they/them?
G: Who cares about your pronouns? Let's continue with-
N: No! I am non-binary, and you should call me they/them.
G: You kids really got their brains fucked up from that Twitter.
N: It's X, not Twitter now.
G: Why are we even arguing about stupid crap?
N: You started it, you transphobic piece of garbage!
G: I don't see anything wrong with that.
N: Nevermind, just get me a lentil Beijing duck, and some soy milk.
G: Are you dumb? Of course we don't have lentil Beij- Wait, of course, we do have them! Please sit down, our cooks will bring your food in a few minutes!
Greg leads the non-binary customer to the table, chuckling under his nose.
G: Your order will arrive in about ten minutes.
Greg approaches the boys with an evil grin.
G: Guys, this thing, it... wanted a Beijing duck. Give it the biggest slice you have, and make it quick, cause it didn't sound happy.
Paul and Tito begin cooking the duck in a rush. Greg meanwhile looks for regular, cow milk - instead of soy milk. The entitled non-binary customer approaches the counter, complaining about slow service. It hasn't even been 2 minutes.

Greg finally approaches the non-binary customer's table with the order, after 8 minutes.
N: Are you fucking kidding me? This duck is from real duck meat, and this is just regular milk!
G: How exactly do you know how duck and cow milk taste like?
N: Nevermind! I'm, not, eating, THAT!
The non-binary customer throws her order at Greg, in a fit.
G: That's it, you're dead, bitch!
Greg takes the glass from the non-binary customer's table and breaks it on their face. Then he sends them to the ground with a left hook. The non-binary person leaves the restaurant crying, threatening to sue Greg. All the other customers begin to leave, alarming Xiao.
X: What is going on? Why are customers leaving?
G: Mr Xiao, I've been attacked by a non-binary monster!
X: Don't play dumb, Blue! I saw on camera what you did! Every one of you, get the fuck out, now! The restaurant is no place for violence!
P: Fucking awesome...

For the third time now, the boys were kicked from their job. Nobody exchanges a word from each other, until arriving at the last workplace, Long Island Red club. They are stopped by the club's boss.
Bo2: Where do you think you're going? After 8 PM, entry with a pass only!
T: But it's still 7:57!
The Boss is about to console the boys, but he lets them in.
Bo2: Whatever, just behave nicely.
The boys find themselves in the middle of a club party. Bobby immediately rushes to the bar, where an attractive female is sat, only to be stopped by Paul.
P: Remember, we came here for a job.
B: Fuck that job, I want to party!
T: Don't be stupid, let's go work!
G: I don't give a damn, I'm gonna take a whizz.

With Greg in the toilet, and Paul and Tito somewhere in the bar, Bobby sits down next to the young female.
B: Hey baby, what's your name?
Jo: Jo...
B: I'm Bobby, and I kind of like you... Wanna grab a drink?
Jo: Nah.... I'm good...
B: Wanna see, how much I can chug?
Jo: Go on... go on then...
Bobby buys every drink in the bar, and begins to drink them one after another - chugging down tens of them in fast motion. He goes crazy and starts jumping around the tables and screaming.
B: I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD, AND YER... ARE ME PEASANTS!
Greg arrives just in time to witness Bobby's drunken spectacle.
G: The fuck is he doing?
T: He drank everything!
P: What the fuck, Bobby, get down! They're gonna kick us out!

Bobby jumps off a table and runs to a pole dancer. He pushes her off and starts dancing on the pole himself.
B: HAHAHAAAAAA, I'M A PRETTY PRINCHESSS... YEAH!
The angry boss grabs Bobby under his arm and kicks the boys out.
G: Goddamn it, you fucking crackhead! We're never gonna find a job because of you!
R: blblbl, haahaha... partyyyyyy...

G: Get up, fucking get up!
Greg loses it and begins to kick the drunk Bobby.
P: I'm done. I'm done with you all, let's just go home.
The boys go home, carrying a passed out drunk Bobby.
M: Guys, it's so late, where've you been?
G: Don't even ask.
A: It's hard looking for a job, eh?
P: Exactly, never again.
T: We're all to blame.

End of episode 2.

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