Episode 2
Guys for Hire
Angie's bedroom.
Penn gets up from bed and yawns. He walks to the kitchen. Meanwhile in the living room, Chet is lying on the floor.
C: Y'all, my face is hurtin'!
M: 'Cause I whacked you.
C: What for?
T: Yuh, what for, eh?
Milton turns to his side.
M: Nevermind that, forget about it.
Penn enters the living room with a plate of sandwiches.
P: Get up, guys! We need to discuss something very important.
Tito wakes up from his armchair. Chet lifts himself up, sits down on the bed.
P: I was talking to Maddie, and we need to start looking for jobs. The rent isn't gonna pay itself!
C: How much?
P: $2500.
Tito counts on his fingers, he falls off the armchair comically.
T: You can't be serious!
C: That's like 600 bucks per head!
M: I'm paying for myself.
C: I don't have anything!
T: I got some psych evals, will they cut it?
P: No, Tito. They won't.
Penn takes a look at a newspaper on the nightstand.
P: There was something in that newspaper, listen to this: "Looking for a mechanic, paying $1200."
M: There's no way in hell, I don't want to get messy. And you cannot really trust a mechanic, never ever. I don't want to get conned by a scally.
T: But Milton, aren't we all scallies?
M: We are all. This town is a piece of shite!
P: Ladies?
Everyone looks at Penn, he puts his hand out.
P: Everybody into that?
Tito and Chet put their hands on his hand.
T: I'm on that!
C: Sure thang.
Milton puts his hand out after a while.
M: Alright then.
The guys lift their hands up.
C: Yee, doggy!
In the city.
The guys are wandering around.
T: B'ys, we've been out for a rip for 40 mins, eh? Are we there yet?
P: Not quite yet, but I've got my GPS on. We'll be there in no time?
M: A GPS? What the bloody hell is that?
P: Why are you such an ignorant? It's a satellite navigation.
M: What'd you say, who am I?
C: Hey, guys! I see that ol' rusty shack of his!
Chet points at an old, small car workshop around the suburbs. It looks desolate. Waylon, the boss, is smoking a cigarette. He notices the guys.
Wa: Howdy, fellas!
P: Hi there, we're looking for a job?
T: We saw that flyer in the paper!
Wa: Sure thing, boys. Now, I’ve got a little something in mind. Would y'all mind fetching a few toolboxes from downstairs? First shelf on your left. Go on now, let’s get on with it!
The workshop.
The second floor. Levi, Waylon's assistant, is sitting at the desk.
Le: G'day! Got four more offsiders to help us out?
C: Your boss needed a little somethin' from up here.
Levi points at a few shelves.
Le: This and that shelf.
Penn takes one box downstairs. Tito is shaking his head nervously, there is a wasp flying nearby. Soon he starts waving his hands and runs around the entire upstairs area.
M: Tito, what is up with-
T: A wasp is chasing me!
Tito runs into a shelf. It shakes ominously, yet it stops. Everyone sighs in relief. The wasp sits on Tito's hand.
Wasp: Hello, motherfucker!
It begins stinging Tito. He jumps around in pain, and falls on another shelf. It collapses on another shelf. All the shelves tumble over in a matter of seconds.
Le: Bloody ripper. Waylon's gonna go crook at you for making such a clusterfuck.
Waylon makes his way upstairs.
Wa: What in tarnation?! Why is all this junk out on the floor?!
M: Tito did it.
T: There was a wasp, I'm allergic!
Wa: I've had it with you, now hit the road! I don't want to see your faces 'round here again!
P: Darn.
Waylon picks up a steel pipe, rushing the guys.
Wa: Get to movin'! Or one of y'all is getting this pipe busted over your head! And you Levi, get this shit cleaned up!
In the streets.
Everyone is angry at Tito, whose hand is swollen.
C: Cheeky little bastard, you got us fired!
T: I don't feel so good, eh?
M: Do not die on me, mate! Someone's gotta graft for that paper.
Milton looks up to Penn.
M: Well, Penn? Where are we off to then?
P: Let's see... there's a beauty salon nearby.
M: You're kidding. I'm not setting foot there, it's pure pathetic!
C: I'm happy to.
On the other side of street there is Crony, a mysterious, tall man in a trench coat. He is unshaven, and has ragged hair. There is a straight razor in his hand.
Cr: I reckon they know nothing about the deviltry in this sorry city. Likely they'll find out the hard way, directly.
Crony laughs, he reaches inside his pocket.
Cr: Damn, I’m out of smokes. You can’t hardly get by out here without 'em. Ain't that right, buddy?
Crony's dog barks.
Cr: And just like that, Crony and Hero went on down to the filling station to spend their money on pure junk.
The beauty salon.
Jessica, the owner of the salon is standing outside. She is a friend of Madison.
Je: Hi there, good to see you! What are such rugged men doing here?
Chet begins to drift away.
C: I can feel the butterflies...
T: Uh-oh, we're losing him!
P: Uh, yeah, we're looking for a job.
Je: Are you guys qualified?
The guys look at each other.
C: Nope?
Je: It's fine. Come on in, we've got a busy day ahead. There's a French neatnik coming in ten minutes, you better not screw up! Get the equipment ready and wait.
C: Sure thing, darlin'!
Chet is smiling for a bit too long.
P: What are you waiting for, get cracking!
Penn leads everyone inside.
Inside the beauty salon.
Penn and Tito are standing by a desk.
P: We're almost out of time, we can't be surprised by him. Tito, could you pass me the-
A stab sound.
P: Tito!
There is a pair of scissors sticking out of Tito's head.
P: Like a child, damn it.
Tito laughs, Penn takes the scissors out of his head. He puts a piece of tissue to his wound.
P: Get going, you! Stop annoying me, go mess around with Chet or something.
Tito walks away. Penn is finishing up.
P: Darn... I could use an extra pair of hands. Milton!
Milton is standing outside. He looks away.
P: So virile, aren't you?
The doors open, a bell rings. An elegant, sharp-dressed man is standing in the door. Mild French accent.
Ne: Bonjour, hello! A visit for four.
Penn smiles, he leads the man on the chair.
P: Take a seat for me, we'll begin shortly.
The neatnik is sitting in the chair.
Penn puts a cape on the man and buttons it.
Ne: Ça m'agace, too tight!
P: Sorry, here we go.
Penn loosens the cape a bit. He brushes the customer's hair gently.
Ne: Courte, short please.
P: Of course.
Penn can't turn the hair clipper on.
P: I almost forgot!
Penn plugs the clipper into the wall, he is giving the man a haircut.
P: Could you move your head to the left a bit...
The neatnik tilts his head a bit.
P: And to the right.
The man tilts the head to the right.
P: Could you now-
Tito runs past Penn, the latter accidentally jags the man.
Ne: Sacré bleu! Oh, ma tête!
P: What's the matter with you? Pass me that bottle, Tito.
Tito passes a bottle to Penn. He pours it on the customer's wound, he begins to wince in pain.
Ne: Tu putain! What have you done?! Je souffre!
Penn notices a label on the bottle. He poured drain cleaner on the man's head.
P: You dumbass, that's drain cleaner!
T: Give it back, eh! That ain't water!
Tito tries to get the bottle back. Penn and Tito fight, the former pours more of the liquid on the neatnik. He can't scream anymore, he cowers on the floor.
The reception.
Chet is chatting with Jessica.
C: How's your day been?
Je: Was fine.
C: Anything interesting?
The neatnik's pained screams disturb both of them.
Ne: Help me, au secours!
P: Give that back, you knucklehead!
Penn is still after the bottle. The neatnik escapes the salon.
Ne: I'm never coming back here!
Jessica looks at Penn and Tito, disappointed.
Je: I knew I couldn't could on you. You men are all the same. Now get out.
Penn and Tito join Milton outside.
C: Can I stay-
Je: Nope, all of you.
Chet leaves with his head down.
The outskirts of town.
No one is talking to each other.
M: I see you've shot off rather quickly.
P: Speak for yourself. You were standing outside for the whole time!
M: I told you, this isn't the job for me! Where are we heading then?
C: Are we still huntin' for jobs?
P: Get a grip. We still have a plenty of time until the sunset.
Chet mutters something under his breath.
P: Next target - the Chinatown restaurant.
The Chinatown restaurant. Oriental music can be heard in the background. Xiao, the boss, is standing outside.
Xi: Welcome, come to Chinese restaurant! We have cheap Suan La Tang today!
P: Hi, we're looking-
T: We're looking for a job!
P: Don't interrupt me!
Xi: Ah, you want job? I find job for you! You there, black and blue cap, you go to kitchen! Gray hat and the other one, go to cash register! You two, I give you spatula, you will stir the chicken! Feng will teach you! The other two, you go to cash with me, okay?
The kitchen.
Penn and Chet approach Feng, the chef. A stern look on his face.
Fn: 各位，歡迎光臨。大家是來學習烹飪的嗎？
C: Huh?
Feng smiles a bit. He takes out some vegetables from the fridge.
Fn: 第一步很簡單：走到冰箱前，取出這些蔬菜。請輕柔地處理，以免損壞。
P: Could you slow down a bit, please?
C: I still don't get a thing!
Feng rubs the meat with spices.
Fn: 將您喜愛的香草與香料混合，然後輕輕將其揉入肉中。這道食譜自明代以來便流傳至今，歷史可追溯至數百年前。雖然原始的卷軸已不復存在，但這是根據張安觀的原始記載所重建的版本。請放心，這道食譜其實相當簡單。
C: WHAT?!
The counter.
Tito and Milton are at the counter. Milton is bored, tapping his fingers on the counter. Tito is walking around with food. A customer approaches the counter.
C1: Excuse me, where can I find the restroom?
M: If you can't seem to spot the big toilet sign, I haven't got a clue where it is.
Tito comes back and picks up another tray of food.
T: Number six, have we got an order number six, eh?
Another costumer walks up to the counter.
C2: Hey mister, why is this soup so cold?
M: Is it cold? I'll get it warmed up in a tick!
Milton takes out a lighter and some aerosol, he sets the soup ablaze and growls at the customer.
M: There we go, lovely!
C2: Are you always this unkind, mister?
M: Yes.
The customer walks away. Xiao approaches from behind.
Xi: Milton, you must work harder! Don't be unkind!
M: Dealing with them is a nightmare!
Xi: The customers are nightmare? This job is demanding!
Tito picks up the next tray.
T: Number seven! Order number seee-!
Tito trips. The food lands all over the heads of nearby customers.
C3: My new blouse! It's a mess!
The customers are leaving the restaurant.
C4: Come on, everyone. Let's leave.
C1: (Unbelievable.)
Xiao runs outside.
Xi: No, come back, come back!
Xiao snaps at the guys.
Xi: My patience run out! Everybody, get the fuck out of here!
The guys leave.
Late evening hours.
No one is talking at all. Penn points at a nearby night club, Long Island Red.
P: The last one. Let's try not to get kicked out after five or so minutes.
José Manuel, the boss, stops the guys. He is a tall Latino man.
JM: Hold up, eses! No one enters after eight without a pass!
T: But it's three to eight!
P: Any job for us?
JM: Alright now. Make yourself useful and take care of the place. Don't party too hard, would you?
Everyone enters the club. Chet notices an attractive, blonde woman at the bar. Penn stops him.
P: Remember, we're supposed to take care of the club!
C: I don't give a damn! I wanna paint this town!
Chet runs up to Ashley, the young woman.
C: Hey sugar, I'm Chet. Wanna float the river with me?
As: Go away, you creep!
C: I'll take that as a yes! Barkeep, set 'em up and keep 'em comin'!
Chet throws a handful of money on the counter. He jumps behind the counter and drinks everything in fast-motion.
The club.
Penn is carrying a drunk partygoer out of the dancing floor.
P: Hey, where's the janitor? This guy just puked all over the floor!
Milton is spinning a mop in his hand.
M: I'll see to it!
Milton is running and mopping the floor, like a hockey player. Penn is wandering around the heart of the club. Tito is at the table, looking at something.
P: Wake up, Tito! What do you think you're doing!
T: I'm watching the show, eh?
P: What show?
Penn's expression turns to sheer frustration.
P: Damn it. For crying out loud, can you see it?
Chet is laughing, jumping tables.
C: I'm the king of the world!
Milton approaches the table angrily.
M: What the fuck is he playing at?
P: Get off that table, you're embarassing us!
Chet lurches towards the dancers. He pushes one of the pole, and dances himself.
C: Dance with me, will ya, pardners?
José Manuel takes Chet from the pole.
Outside.
The guys are kicked out of the club.
M: You absolute twatbadger, we'll never find a job because of you!
C: Haha, errr... and the party's on!
Milton tries to kick Chet.
M: Get up, you filthy swine!
P: Let's go home. I've had it with you.
T: So do I.
The guys are on the way home.
The flat.
Tito opens the door.
Ma: Hey, you've been out for so long.
M: Definitely too long.
A: Where've you been hiding all day, lads?
P: Don't ask.
T: That one's on us, eh?
Penn, Tito and Milton crash on the sofa. They placed Chet on the armchair. Tito takes out some popcorn from the drawer.
T: How about a movie night, eh?
M: Oh, okay!
P: Let's do it!
T: Be right back.
Milton turns the TV on. Fade out.
End of episode 2.