Episode 13
The Showdown
In the middle of a forest.
An old building is visible in the distance. The guys are making their way through a dense forest. Nearby bushes are rustling.
T: This is the spot, eh?
P: Yes, Tito. We're close.
M: Zone One?
P: Uh-huh.
Crony is standing many feet away, holding a walkie-talkie.
Cr: I can see them coming.
(TC: Great. Now get gone, before they spot you!)
Penn notices Crony. The tall man in a trench coat bolts.
P: You saw the guy?
T: Who?
The building's doors open. A moment of awkward silence.
C: We gonna go on in?
M: Do we have a choice?
P: No...
The guys enter.
Zone One.
The guys are walking through a corridor.
C: Y'all smell that?
M: You farted, didn't you?
C: No! It smells funny.
?: Smells like revenge.
An ominous voice echous through the halls.
M: I have an inkling who that is.
P: Who?
The Creator emerges from the shadow.
TC: Yes, that's me. Your worst nightmare.
P: Why did you bring us here? Explain yourself!
TC: Did you really think you could survive for long here? Ever since you made your way into reality, I've lost all my inspiration! I had nothing to write, I was-
(M: Can we skip this proper cringe monologue?)
(P: There's a button down here.)
TC: Don't even think I'll let this disgrace slide.
Milton reaches for the button over the screen. He presses it, The Creator's monologue is skipped.
Corridor.
The Creator pulls two machetes from behind his back. His eyes glow an ominous red. Psytrance music in the background.
TC: It's showtime.
P: Charge!
The Creator slashes in front of him.
C: I'll tend to him!
Chet faces The Creator, he bashes one machete to the side. It hits a wall. Chet knocks The Creator over.
TC: Is that all you got?
The Creator hurls the remaining machete at Chet. Slow-motion, it slices his hoodie. The blade flies past Penn and Milton's heads, it lodges itself in the closet. The door opens - there's a rifle inside.
M: Bloody brilliant!
Milton fires several rounds at The Creator. He uses telepathy to pull the machetes toward him. He slashes at the bullets at a breakneck pace.
M: What the devil?!
The Creator laughs hysterically.
TC: Exactly, the devil! I'm a motherfucking demon, you will all land under my boot!
The Creator does somersaults toward the stairs and runs away.
P: After him!
T: Follow him, b'ys!
The guys make their way to the second floor.
The second floor.
The Creator is standing at the other end of the hallway with a button in his hand.
TC: Ready for round two?
T: What's he got there, b'ys?
TC: Like my little toy? Have a looky at this!
He presses a button. A hypnotized man spawns, he approaches the guys slowly.
TC: My creation isn't just some piece of crap! This hypnoslave is my killing tool!
P: I'd like to see him try. Bet he's slower than your granny!
The hypnoslave knocks Penn out cold.
C: Penn! Oh, that's it! We're putting you six feet under!
Chet lunges at the hypnoslave. He punches him, he turns into ash. Penn gets up.
TC: Quick job, huh? Fear not, I have plenty more of them!
The Creator quickly clicks the button multiple times, dozens of the hypnoslaves spawn.
TC: I'll be waiting!
The Creator flies up to the third floor.
(HS1: Kill them... Kill them...)
The stairs to the first floor are closed off.
P: Shit... it's over.
T: B'ys, look!
M: What?
T: A flying book, eh?
There's a floating book in the corner.
Tito runs up to it.
M: You can't read, pack that book in!
T: Hy... hy, hy... hyyyyy... pnosis! Hypnosis for beginners!
M: Give me that.
Milton takes the book from Tito.
M: Hypnosis for beginners! Tito, you mastermind! We're saved!
Milton hits the hypnoslaves with the book.
C: Stop, Milton!
Chet takes the book from him.
C: Could you just think for once?
M: No time for faffing about, we're properly cornered!
C: What's tucked inside?
M: Words?
Penn runs up to them.
P: Look for a spell!
Chet flips the pages.
C: I got it! Revertia... Lumina?
The spell has no effect.
C: Err... Revertia Lumina!
It still has no effect.
P: The microprint!
Penn reads the microprint.
P: Spells can only be cast by an authorized pocket wizard. To order a pocket wizard, call 1-800-3825-633... This book sucks!
Penn throws the book in the crowd, angrily.
The book lands in the crowd.
A tiny wizard emerges from the book.
PW: Bless your heart, for I have come! Get me out, for all that's done!
Tito picks the wizard from the ground.
PW: If you want to save your friends, throw me right into their hands!
Tito throws the wizard at the wall, next to Chet. Tito is being attacked.
PW: Oh my bones, oh my body, hope they cure it with some toddy!
Chet picks the wizard up.
C: We could mighty well use a hand here!
PW: Say it all, young apprentice, maybe you'll-
C: Ain't no time for limericks! We gotta save our buddy!
PW: Sorry for my rude behavior, I will never-
M: Quit your bitching, say the spell, or I'll make you go to hell!
The wizard checks the spell book.
PW: Revertia Lumina, Revertia Lumina! Let them all be looming up!
The hypnosis wears off.
HS2: What just happened?
HS3: Where am I?
P: It worked, thank you! Thank you very much!
The wizard pulls out his flying carpet.
PW: My job here is done for now, I'll be flying to the Sun!
The wizard blasts through the wall, flying away.
C: I ain't ever laid eyes on a pocket old man in all my life.
T: B'ys...
Tito is laying injured on the ground.
P: You good?
T: Go on without me.
P: We can't leave you here!
Tito is approached by a woman.
HS4: I'll patch him up, I'm a nurse.
C: Thank you, darlin'.
P: Come on now, no time to waste!
Penn, Chet and Milton make their way to the third floor.
D: Wait up! ¡Oye!
Penn turns around.
P: Diego? What are you doing here?
D: It's too dangerous, amigo. You might need my help.
M: Top man. Right, chop chop, up you get!
D: ¡Vamos!
They run upstairs.
The third floor.
Penn, Chet, Milton and Diego get up to the next floor.
P: Damn, he's strong...
The Creator is at the end of the corridor. Wings protrude from his back, and horns from his head. The camera pans backward, the entire hallway is mined. There are machine guns and rocket launchers on the walls.
TC: You're pretty damn fast.
D: Leave my muchachos alone! ¡Tu... gringo!
TC: Can you feel the devil's wrath...?
The Creator snarls, reaching his hand out towards the guys.
C: That don't look too good.
The machine guns focus on the guys, they fire.
P: Take cover!
The guys take cover behind the walls.
C: What do we do?!
P: Someone has to sacrifice themselves!
D: I'll do it!
P: Not you!
Diego peeks out from his hiding place, Penn pulls him back by his hood.
P: You want to end up all shot up, like at a warzone?!
D: It is a warzone! ¡Suéltame!
Diego comes loose.
TC: Who do I have to smoke first?
Diego starts walking through the mined hallway confidently. The machine guns aren't aiming at him.
P: How is he doing that?
M: He's out of their view. Not a mark.
TC: You forgot about the manual mode?
The Creator aims the machine guns at Diego.
TC: Fire!
Diego is running past the machine guns and the minefield.
D: ¡Mierda!
Diego dodges the bullets.
D: ¡Ay! ¡Oh! ¡Caramba!
TC: What a-! More power!
The machine guns fire even faster. Diego refuses to back down. A close up of Diego's face.
D: Esto es para ti, mamá...
TC: The hell?! Cheap surplus junk! Maximum overdrive!
The machine guns are firing as fast as they can. They start falling over and are scrambling all over the hallway.
D: Keep your heads down, guys!
Slow-motion. Diego dives at The Creator, mines exploding behind him. A curtain of smoke blocks the view.
P: Diego...?
Diego's silhouete can be seen behind the smoke.
D: Hurry up, it's the top floor!
The guys rush to the top.
The top, fourth floor.
Tito is sitting by the wall. He's muscular, much bigger than before.
P: There you are, Tito! But... why are you so buff?
T: I nabbed some steroids off that nurse, pal!
TC: Oh, guys!
Everyone turns towards The Creator.
TC: Time for the final round! 1v1.
M: There's five of us! You'll drop dead like a dog!
TC: Shut up! Might as well check the crate.
The Creator mounts a gatling gun.
TC: I'm giving you 15 seconds.
P: Um, like what? That's an unfair advantage!
C: Arm up, come on!
Everyone arms up. Penn takes a carbine, Chet and Milton get machine pistols.
D: Elegante.
Diego holds a sawed-off shotgun.
P: Tito, the rocket launcher!
Tito grabs a rocket launcher.
TC: Time's up. Your day of judgement has come, motherfuckers!
The Creator fires the gatling gun. Crony is sat next to him, by another gun.
Cr: Hey, I was supposed to say the day of judgement line!
TC: You're an accomplice, now stay quiet!
Cr: Yeah, yeah, blah, blah. I'm the one who does the dirty work.
The Creator is firing at the guys.
TC: Do you guys like this cosmic mess?!
C: Our days are numbered, y'all!
D: Where's your courage, tipos? It's the last stage!
P: He's right! Get your asses up and fire!
Everyone peeks out and fires, one after another. The Creator is sitting at the gun, holding a beer in one hand and drinking.
TC: I can do this all day. Get out of there, now don't hide! Pussies.
T: No one calls me a pussy and gets away with it!
Tito picks up a crate, he hurls it at The Creator.
TC: Get down!
The Creator and Crony duck. The crate breaks on a wall.
P: Fire the rocket, they're down!
Tito fires the rocket. The Creator dodges last second.
T: Missed them!
P: Move up!
The guys attack.
TC: There we go, finally.
The Creator is shot in the knee.
TC: Shit!
He keeps firing.
M: Fire at the tosser!
Crony steps down from his gun.
Cr: It's getting too hot in here. See you, boss.
TC: What do you think you're doing?
Cr: I forgot to get ice cream for my wife.
TC: You judas!
The Creator is hit again, he's ejected from the gatling gun. Crony makes his way up, on the rooftop.
D: Now, Tito!
T: I'm out of rockets!
M: Grenade!
Milton throws the grenade at The Creator. The explosion sends him flying to the rooftop.
P: Follow him, he can't get away!
Everyone is running to the rooftop.
The rooftop.
The Creator's dead body lies against the wall.
P: We got him, he's gone!
The body moves.
M: You spoke too soon!
A demon crawls out of his body. Everyone looks in horror.
Gi: I am Gilgamesh, the sent here by the Beelzebub himself. My destiny has been clear from the very beginning. To exterminate everything that walks upon this world, no exceptions. This will not be the last time we meet, mortals. You are nothing but vermin crawling across this vomit-stained earth. I will trample you, crush you, and send you into the depths of the underworld! I am going to-
PW: Vas Constringo!
Everyone looks at the pocket wizard.
PW: The beast shall forever be enclosed!
Gilgamesh is shrunk and sent to a small jar.
Gi: How dare you, mortals?! You'll play for this lack of respect for the Lord of Darkness!
Penn looks at the jar. Gilgamesh is screaming in a high-pitched voice.
P: What do we do with him?
M: Throw him the hell away.
Everyone is standing in silence.
T: B'ys!
They look at Tito.
T: We won!
M: We won... so what?
P: We killed The Creator, what have we achieved with that?
Diego smells something.
D: Gas leak!
P: This place is about to blow! Down, everyone down!
Penn ushers everyone down. Gilgamesh laughs.
Gi: This is not the end of the story. I was not rewarded yet!
In front of the building.
The guys storm out of the building.
M: Leg it, or we're toast!
The company's van shows up.
To: Get in, now!
Everyone hops in.
De: So, what were you doing in here so late, anyway?
M: Just shut up, and drive!
The van drives off.
T: B'ys, where's Diego?
P: Stop the van! We left him behind!
A shot of the building. Diego is standing still with a stern look. Explosions are breaking out behind him.
D: No me olvides.
He smiles subtly. He's engulfed by the explosions. View from the van. Penn is screaming and pounding on the back door.
P: Diego! Nooo!
Penn covers his face.
P: He didn't do anything to nobody...
Chet puts his arm around Penn.
C: I know. He went out a true hero.
The guys hug each other, crying. The camera pans at the burning building. Crony takes a look at the building.
Cr: Well? Kaboom it is.
The Director runs up to the Zone One.
TD: We lost him, he's dead! Why didn't you try to stop him!
Cr: Hey, it's not my fault! Blame The Screenwriter, it was his idea!
TD: My brother is dead! My fucking brother!
Diego's blue jacket lands in front of them. Crony picks it up.
Cr: A blue jacket. Smells like sulfur and hot tabasco.
TD: The hyperaware have lost another one... I'm out, I can't take it anymore!
The Director walks away speedily.
Cr: Time to head home. What was I...? Shit, I forgot. My wife will kill me for sure.
Crony walks away slowly.
The graveyard.
Diego's coffin is lowered into the ground. Family members throw dirt at the coffin.
Fm1: Se nos fue muy joven.
Fm2: ¡Qué tragedia!
The guys watch the coffin go down with tears in their eyes. A family members places a cross with a plaque reading “Diego Fernández Dávila, 1998–2024” on the coffin. The priest stands over the covered coffin.
Pr: Dale, Señor, el descanso eterno. Que descanse en paz.
The guys stand over the grave.
M: A victory comes at a cost.
P: We paid the full price for it. We've lost our beloved friend.
C: The world ain't never gonna be the same.
P: It won't be. We can only save ourselves from this fire.
Penn puts his arms around the others. They all look at the setting Sun. Fade to black.
TD: A certain stage of their lives has come to an end. You shall love your neighbor while they are still alive, for you never know when their time will come.
End of episode 13.